Search My Heart

I don’t know where to put this in, so I’m just going to insert it here. Buckle up, I think, a little bit. I’m like, “Is this going to be rocky, Lord? Because I don’t know where You want me to put this.” So I’m just going to start with this, kind of coming off of worship.

Don’t assume someone else will call

I was reminded when I was worshiping — when we’re worshiping together, it requires all of us to come together and vocalize our singing. There is this thing that I learned: if you’re ever in an emergency, or you come up to an emergency, you should never assume that anyone has called 911. So if there’s an accident or you see something that happens and you’re somehow there, you’re never supposed to just assume that person is calling 911. They say in training I’ve had that you shouldn’t just be like, “Can someone call 911?” because everyone will assume that someone’s going to call 911. When you are in those situations, what you’re actually supposed to do is say, “Woman in the black shirt, can you call 911?”

So what I have — and let’s see, I’m going to try to put this all together — is recently my daughter and I were traveling back from Indiana. When she and I travel together, we do everything together. We go to the bathroom together. We have traveled back and forth to the East Coast so many times, so we just kind of have a rhythm. When we’re together, we know we don’t ever leave each other. The only time I could think of that she ever goes anywhere by herself, even though she’s 17, is when I’m dropping her off at the field she’s about to play on. That’s the only time. But when we’re together, we’re always together.

So we pull up to this gas station — we had just pulled into Janesville — and I said, “Restroom or pump first?” She said, “Why don’t you pump first?” I said okay. So as we pump first, all of a sudden — I won’t go into a lot of detail, but so you can get the gist of how I feel this is all connected, hopefully — I was trying to figure out my card, and it was not working, and I was kind of distracted. I could hear a little bit of chaos in front of me, so I kind of looked, but I was trying to put gas in the car. What ultimately transpired was there was this fight that took place, and it was very apparent that they were under some sort of substances, whether it be alcohol or drugs, I don’t know. A fight took place, and I looked and I saw this woman who was closer than I was, and I just said, “Are you calling 911?” And she said yes. So she called 911, and there was a medical emergency that ended up having to take place.

I just was so grieved in my spirit. Now, that is kind of traumatic to watch in itself, but that wasn’t why — if we could understand the separation between the two. What I saw grieved me not because of what had happened, even though that itself was grieving. Something that one of the people said was, “This is my brother. This is my brother. This is my brother. Leave us alone.” My daughter actually saw the whole thing happen, because she was sitting in the car, so she’s looking at it, and I’m half paying attention. As I got in the car, after everything kind of happened, she and I talked about it: “I cannot believe we just saw that.”

I was grieved because of a few things. I told Jay, “You know, if those two people were really siblings, my heart went out to them — what has transpired in their life that they would be to this point of desperation.” My heart was broken for the brokenness that was very evident through this whole transaction.

What I realized in this is that there is a responsibility we kind of have to each other when we come into these places, to call 911, so to speak, for each other in worship — that we wouldn’t just assume, “Oh, she’s going to sing,” or, “My singing doesn’t matter.” There is something that happens when all of us — and worship is interesting, because it’s a little bit uncomfortable. Sometimes when my daughter is up here, she can hear me sing, and I think I’ve said that I don’t always know the words, or I’m singing louder, and sometimes I’ll catch myself and we’ll kind of glance at each other and smile and she’ll laugh. But singing in worship, we just let it be this private thing.

But when we’re in a corporate place like this together, part of what we’re to do is to come before Him and collectively call out to God in worship. It is that place where I’m not going to just assume that our worship leader is going to take care of it. No, we are to come together in unity, knowing that we come together and we worship the Father. What we’re actually doing is our voices are collectively coming in unity in worship. And what that is similar to is: we don’t just assume someone else is going to call 911. We choose to say, “I’m going to vocalize. I’m going to sing off-key. I’m going to maybe raise my hands.” And I have no clue what you guys do — my back is to you, so you all might be raising your hands singing, I don’t know.

But I just want us to always remember that we all need each other’s collective voice. We all need us calling out to the Lord together in unity. And as we continue to press in and press in and press in — and what does “press in” mean? It means we just give a little bit more, we surrender a little bit more — we begin to see how He wants to move mightily and encounter us in worship. So I just want to encourage you: if you don’t sing well, if you don’t know the words, that’s all okay. It’s about positioning our heart and standing before the Lord and saying, “You are worthy of it all. You are worthy of it all. This has nothing to do with me. You’re worthy of it all. I surrender all.”

It’s interesting — our worship leader and I did not plan what I was going to be talking on. I was in the fellowship hall, and our speakers are hooked up over there, so I could hear the song she was singing, and I just thought, “Lord, You’re so good,” because it’s calling us to a place to surrender, which is also a little bit of where my message is today.

A heart that grows desensitized

Last Sunday I shared a word that I had sensed was from the Lord in regards to the season we were walking in, with the tension of the election, with the tension of change, with the tension of everything that was happening. I’m going to reread it, because that’s going to be where I start off again today. Last week I shared that we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood but against spiritual principalities, and what I shared was, despite what happens, our prayer can remain the same: Lord, create in me a clean heart, a heart that is after You, a heart that is shapeable. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Help me keep my eyes and heart on You as everything shifts around me. Keep me unmovable. Continue to reveal Your plans for me and Your heart for others. If there is an issue that I am worried about, Lord, would You show me what the root is? Because the issue is only a symptom. Would our prayers be accelerated in these times, and may we not be caught off guard.

As I was sharing about what my daughter and I had experienced, what I also realized is there’s a deep place in me — and this is why it’s important for us to keep our hearts before the Lord — that can become deeply desensitized to the world around us with the amount of information. I will admit that this week I probably was on my phone, on social media, way more than I needed to be. Just updates: what’s happening, what are people saying, what is the new — just everywhere, right? It was a big week, so I just know that I was on it way more. But what happens in the process of all of that is it desensitizes our hearts. It desensitizes our minds.

There was a time when we would go to the movies and an R-rated movie was rated R because it was the most graphic thing you could see, the unimaginable. And now we can open our devices and we can see the most unimaginable, graphic things that we have never been able to see before. We are in a time where seeing experiences is limitless. You want to know what it’s like in a war-torn country? You can find that on TikTok. You want to know what this looks like? Everything is at our fingertips. And the problem with that is it’s not just information that comes into our mind. What it does is it actually desensitizes our hearts from the reality of what’s happening, and our hearts no longer are broken.

Instead, when we see situations, we’re like, “What did they do?” or “Did they deserve it?” We’re so consumed by the exterior actions, and we’re no longer moved by what actually is happening in someone’s life — that they would be at such a desperate place that they would act out in person, that they would turn to whatever substances they were to fulfill the needs in their brokenness. We no longer are moved by that, and yet we’re moved to judgment.

My prayer for us today is that we would begin to have a blueprint that would help us to keep moving forward, to be people who are agents of peacemaking. That we would have a blueprint for our heart — because it says to guard our heart above all else. Above all else we’re to guard our heart. Why? Because out of it are supposed to be springs of life coming out of it. It’s the place that Jesus shapes the most, so that I can see and be moved by the things that He’s moved by. But we have to guard it. And so my heart and my hope today is that I will somehow accurately begin to give us just a blueprint of how to keep our heart before the Lord.

Lord, show me where I’ve been deceived

A few weeks ago I was driving somewhere in the morning and I just had this thought. There’s a friend — she’s like a family friend; I’ve known her since I was little. She’s maybe about 10 years older than me, maybe even less. I think she said she had just turned 50, so she’s not even 10 years older than me. But I grew up with her, so you know when you’re really young someone seems really much older than you, and then you realize the age gap is actually not that big. Well, that’s where I am. When she told me, “I just celebrated my 50th birthday,” I thought — not that she looked old — I just thought you were way older than me.

Anyway, I had this thought while I was driving: I wonder what her time with the Lord looks like. It was just this random thought. I wasn’t thinking about the Lord necessarily; I wasn’t contemplating my time with the Lord. But I just had this thought: I wonder what her time looks like with the Lord. I like to find out how people find their rhythms with spending time with Jesus. It is just something that intrigues me, maybe because I struggle with it sometimes. So I like to know: How do you make time for Jesus? What does it look like? Not with judgment, not with criticism — could you just tell me about what your fellowship time looks like with Him?

So I sent her a text. I said, “Hey, I had this thought: what does your time with the Lord look like?” And she said, “Can I call you? Because I couldn’t tell you by text.” So I said okay. A couple days later we connected on the phone, and she was sharing just some things that the Lord was doing in her. Something that stuck out to me, that I think is really kind of the framework for us to consider: she was at a conference, and the speaker was speaking, and one of the things that began this domino of revelation for her with fellowship with the Lord was the question the speaker was saying: “Lord, show me where I have been deceived.” A simple prayer.

Now, in the context of how she and I know each other, the pastors we grew up around are amazing pastors. So it wasn’t this thing like, “Oh, you’ve been deceived by them.” But, “Lord, would You show me where I’ve been deceived?” As I thought about it, I thought about how many times we pick up situations and things along the way — ideas, even with good intention and motives — but they actually begin to turn our attention away from the Lord instead of turning us back.

Search me, O God

And it leads me to our scripture. If you have your Bibles, you can turn with me. This is one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but we’re just going to look at the end: Psalm 139. Psalm 139, and we’re going to look at verses 23 and 24. It says, “Search me, O Lord” — or, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

The reality is that our goal in this life is to be more like Christ. At the end of the day, it’s that we are shaped and molded into who He’s called and created us to be. In this beautiful passage of Scripture, Psalm 139, David is saying, “Lord, You know me. You know the deep parts of me. You knit me together in my mother’s womb long before I was even in existence.” But at the end of this he says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart.” Even in David celebrating the fact that he is deeply known by God, he knows that the Lord must search him first, because there are places that are hidden even from David.

As I was considering all of this together, it jumped in my mind — like a connect-the-dots of everything — the question: Where have I been deceived? Lord, would You search me, O God? David is inviting God, and I think that this is the beginning of the blueprint for us: to invite God to search us and examine us through and through, to find the things that are hidden, to find the places where we’ve become desensitized, to find the places where we’ve lost hope, to find the places where we have forgotten. Would our heart be in this season, “God, would You search me? Search me and know my heart.”

So many times what ends up happening — and this is all connected — is as we get older, we begin to fill in the cracks along the way, and sometimes when we fill in the cracks, we don’t fill them with the Lord. And then we find ourselves in these situations — oftentimes when there is peril, stress, frustration, anxiety, whatever it is — oftentimes what shows are those cracks, and the things that we put our hope in and our trust in. We turn to those instead of turning to God and saying, “God, would You just search me and teach me what’s going on in my heart regarding this situation?”

When you think about it, it’s inherently in us to try to fix a situation without God. You think about Adam and Eve, right? They sin, and what do they immediately do? They knit together for themselves some little fig leaves, and then they hide. Instead of running to the Father, instead of running to the person who they had been in fellowship with, they try to fix it, and it wasn’t even sufficient. And when we look at what God does in Genesis, He makes them clothes. He covers them. He says, “Why were you hiding?”

So many times we want to fix things on our own instead of allowing the Lord to come and fix them in ourselves. But the only way we can do that is if we keep our heart in front of Him and say, “Lord, would You search me and know my heart? Would You try me and know my anxieties? Would You see if there’s anything wicked in me, and lead me in the way everlasting?” It really is that simple. How do we guard our heart? We keep it before the Lord.

When I learned to take care of myself

Something that I realized early on: I grew up basically as a latchkey kid — that’s what the term was in the ’90s. I have two older sisters, one that’s 12 years older than me and one that’s four years older than me. My mom worked tirelessly, multiple jobs, and so I was self-sufficient at a very young age. Which is fine. I have lots of stories, and my kids can never tell me there’s nothing to eat, because I will always tell them there is something to eat. Because what did I learn how to do at a young age? I always had tortillas. I always made quesadillas, or tortilla with butter, and that was that. Anyway, I was very self-sufficient as a young child.

The reason I say this — why I have to keep my heart before the Lord — is because at a young age I learned how to take care of myself. I’m not mad about it. I’m not angry. It just was the reality that there were circumstances that were beyond any of our control that had me on my own, and I learned how to take care of myself. The problem with that now is, guess what? I really have a hard time asking for help. In fact — I don’t mind sharing this, because this is about me — not only that, I actually have a hard time articulating what I need help with, because in my mind I’ve already figured out whatever it is going to be.

If I have a busy day, I usually start my day, go through my task list, think about what needs to be solved, what needs to be fixed, and then I’m just going to move on my way. And you can join me, you can come with me, you can come alongside of me. Usually with anyone that knows me really well, I’m like, “Oh, just come talk to me. Just be here. Just be here.” I have the hardest time articulating how I need help. I have a hard time asking for help, because the reality is I’ve learned how to be sufficient on my own, and I probably will figure it out, and I’ll do it fine. I won’t be angry about it. It just is what it is.

The problem with that is — and the answer is I do it a lot — I just rush through things. When there’s a situation I’m facing, whether it’s in our finances, whether it’s in our church, whether it’s our kids, whether it’s in my marriage, guess what I do? I just figure it out. I just don’t even consider — there are things that I do always keep before the Lord, my kids being one of them. That’s probably the one place that I’m the best at, because it has to do with someone else, where I’ll be like, “Lord, I don’t know what to do.” But a lot of other places I just plow through, because guess what? I’ve always just taken care of it for myself.

Now, we all have things like that, where I don’t say, “Lord, my heart feels like it has this. Would You just show me what You want to do?” Because I don’t know that me plowing through things all the time is necessarily the wrong answer. I just don’t take the time to ask the Lord if that is the answer. Do you see the difference? When I learn to be self-sufficient in a place where I don’t even think — I just know the Lord’s put me here, the Lord’s put us as pastors here — I would just go through these motions instead of inviting the Lord: “Would You search me, O God? Would You try me and know my anxieties? If there’s anything wicked in me, if there’s any place deceived in me, would You tell me? Would You show me?”

This is so important, because as we’re talking about moving forward with being ministers of Christ, we have to be aware of the places where we have compartmentalized God and said, “Okay, God, You’re here on Sundays.” Now, there might be some people who treat Sundays kind of like a quick fix — quite literally, “Oh, I’m going to go to church, I’m going to get my fill for the week, and then I’m just going to go on through the week and forget about Him unless there’s a dire situation.” And then I’ll call out back to the Lord, and I pray and I pray and I pray, He comes through, and then I just move through again.

I think those times to live compartmentalized are dissipating. Compartmentalized is going away. How do I know? This week a lot of what I’ve heard has been so much division. There’s so much of this hate that is wanting to be spewed up. And what we have to realize is if we don’t watch our own hearts, we will become desensitized. We will become talking like everyone else. We’ll become acting like everyone else. We’ll think it’s okay because, guess what, I go to church on Sunday and sometimes I read my Bible.

And what we don’t realize is we’re plowing through without the Lord. And David — if you know anything about David, he was probably one of the most flawed men in Scripture from beginning to end, with his decisions, his life. He murdered someone, you know what I mean? He was lying. Even though it says David was a man after God’s own heart, his life, if you look at it, was complex and complicated and sinful. And yet he said, “Lord, would You search me, and would You know me? Search me, O God.” I believe for us to be effective peacemakers in our time is to be people who ask the Lord to continue to search our heart — and not just search it and move on.

Help me with my indifference

Last week in church, when we were in Communion, I sat there and I just said, “Lord, help me with my indifference.” There’s a situation that I’ve been walking through where I went from being mad and hurt, and then I just realized, oh, now I’m indifferent, and I don’t care. Oh, that’s yucky. That’s yucky, yucky — when we become indifferent towards people. Because it wasn’t towards us; it was towards people. And I keep asking, “Lord, would You help me with my indifference?” Because indifference is a reflection of the yuckiness in my heart.

We can’t be indifferent towards people. The only way that we move and we love people and we’re ministers of Christ is by having our heart examined by the Lord, and those things that we’re holding on to, that we would lay them at His feet, that we would surrender them to Him — that it’s more than just forgiveness. I say this because right now there’s a lot of language around people, how we should treat people, and boundaries. There’s a lot of language and knowledge about trauma, all of this stuff — good stuff. But if it doesn’t lead us back to the Lord, what’s the purpose?

I say that because right now we’re in a time where there seem to be a lot of vulnerable people, and all we can do is say, “Lord, would You search me?” I don’t ever want to be held on to any one issue more than held on to You. I don’t ever want to be held on to anyone’s situation more than You.

I think it’s interesting that he says, “Try me, and know my anxieties.” He doesn’t just say, “Search me, God.” He doesn’t just say, “Know my heart.” But he said, “Would You know my anxieties?” Because there were places where David clearly was feeling anxious about life. There was clearly an inability to reconcile whatever part of what he was going through with what God was trying to do. And he says, “See if there’s any wickedness in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

We need to be led through this. There’s something where I’m like, “Okay, Lord, You need to show me what the next step is, because right now I’m trying to move out of indifference. So I need You to show me what the next step is. And I think that’s You, so I’m just going to move to that next step of what I think You’re asking me to do, because I want to be moved out of indifference.” I want to be moved out of this place of anxiousness. I want to be moved out of this place of anger towards a person, because all that does is hinder us with the Lord, and it hinders the Lord’s speaking to us. And then we’re frustrated, because we won’t let go of things, because we try to hide from Him and say, “That doesn’t matter here.” No, no, no. The Lord wants us to guard our heart above all else, which means I need to ask Him to search me and show me, and then move into action toward that.

What if we daily just asked the Lord, “Lord, would You search my heart today? Would You show me my anxieties, and where my worries are affecting my thoughts and actions towards myself, others, and You?” And then look for Him through the day to answer that prayer. There are times that I’ve prayed, “Lord, would You just show me what’s going on?” and then something will happen and I’m stunned by the situation. I think I was telling my mom this once: “But I was praying, ‘Lord, would You show me.’” The Lord wants to show us. We don’t have to witch-hunt. We don’t have to go through guilt. I was sitting there during Communion — “Lord, help me with my indifference” — and He said, “Okay, this is your next step.” And I don’t have to worry, “Do I need to do more?” No. The Lord is so good and faithful to us, because He loves us, because He’s faithful to His Word.

Teach me to do Your will

What I love about David in the Psalms is how it reflects the deep, true places of David’s situation in his heart. When you read through the Psalms, it’s not just these psalms of praises. There are these laments, there’s this agony, there’s this place of, “They’re coming after me. They’re wanting to kill me.” And then David just will say, “But Lord, would You show Yourself strong? Would You go after my enemies?” All the time. That’s what I love about the Psalms.

So we’re going to turn to Psalm 143:7–12. The first place was we just ask, “Lord, would You search our hearts? Would You show us the places that have become maybe indifferent? Would You show us the places that are wicked? Would You show us the places that have been deceived” — even with good intent, things I believe that are no longer good for me, right? “Would You show us, Lord?” The second part I love in here is that we would ask Him to teach us to do His will.

Psalm 143, starting at verse 7 — read the whole psalm, but I’m just going to pick up right in the middle. David is saying, “Answer me speedily, O Lord; my spirit fails!” Have you ever felt that way? Like, “Lord, come on, come on, Lord. I could use an answer right now. Do You not hear me? Am I the only one?” I got one hand — not that you all need to raise your hands. But I know for me, I can just pray that. Those seem to be my words: “Could You answer me speedily, Lord? Do You not see that my faith is failing? Do You not see that my spirit is failing?” This is what I mean: we could just open the Bible and read the Psalms, and that could be our prayer, because it’s so relatable.

Anyway, he says, “Answer me speedily, O Lord; my spirit fails! Do not hide Your face from me.” Have you ever felt like the Lord was hiding, like you couldn’t hear? David is like, “Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those who go down into the pit.” And I think about the pit as those who just do it on their own, who just surrender to the situation, who just say, “I’m done. I’m here.” David’s saying, “I don’t want to be that person.” “Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning.” Come on — I’m saying this can just be our prayer: “Lord, I want to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning.”

“Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You. Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; in You I take shelter.” And this is point number two: “Teach me to do Your will.” Would You search me, and would You teach me to do Your will? “For You are my God.” Thank goodness — hallelujah — that He is God. He is faithful. “For You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Revive me, O Lord, for Your name’s sake! For Your righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble. In Your mercy cut off my enemies, and destroy all those who afflict my soul; for I am Your servant.”

When we not only just say, “Lord, would You search me, would You know me,” then the next thing gets to be, “Would You teach me Your will?” When you think about the Lord’s Prayer, it says, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Or you think about Jesus right before they arrest Him. He’s in torment and agony about what’s happening, and He says, “Lord, if it’s Your will, would this cup pass by Me.” There’s something about understanding: “Lord, would You teach me Your will? Would You show me what I need to know in this situation, so that I can walk out what You’re asking me to do?”

He says, “Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness. Revive me, O Lord, for Your name’s sake.” What I love about this, as David’s calling out to the Lord, is that the Lord never fails him. It doesn’t bother Him that he says, “For Your name’s sake” — that we carry His name’s sake wherever we go. That even in our situations, our decisions, our troubles, He still gets to say, “Suzie, you carry My namesake wherever you go. You’re My daughter. You’re the daughter of the Most High.” That namesake never goes away. I’m a child of God; that namesake never goes away. And part of that namesake, part of that place of inheritance, is to be in righteousness, which means in right standing with Him.

So our call, number one, I think in this season is: “Search me, Lord. Show me what’s going on with my anxieties. Help me learn those places where I’ve become self-reliant. Teach me in Your way everlasting. Teach me Your will” — so that we can be in right standing with Him.

Love without hypocrisy

We’re called to be people who live peacefully with other people. The only way we can live peacefully with other people is resolving the issues in our heart. There’s no way around it. If I’m holding unforgiveness towards someone, that means when I come into a situation, I can’t leave peaceably. If I don’t have a handle on what’s going on in my heart — do you see how this is all connected? — if I don’t have a handle on what’s going on in my heart, I don’t actually know what I need to surrender to Him and where I need to trust Him. If I don’t know where I can trust Him, then that affects how I love and how I’m at peace with people. Do you see? It’s all a cycle.

Romans chapter 12, if you have your Bibles. Romans chapter 12 — I think I need a new Bible. Not ready for a new Bible. Romans chapter 12. Again, if I could, I’d say read it, write it down, go back and just read it. Romans chapter 12, we’re going to start in verse 9. So we’re talking about our heart; now we’re going to that next place. It says, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.”

So we’re going to stop there for a moment. We see our hearts stay before the Lord; He teaches us His will. And what we read here is that we’re to let love be without hypocrisy. I had this thought when I was done, and then I went back and wrote it down. Has anyone ever heard that the church is filled with a bunch of hypocrites? Yeah, we have. What made me think about this is it says, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.” If we’re to love without hypocrisy, that means that we actually have to stand for truth.

See, immediately following that scripture — “Let love be without hypocrisy” — is “Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good.” What I would just present to you — and we have to grapple with some of these things because of the time we’re in — when I asked how many people have heard that the church is filled with hypocrites: it’s the easiest thing for someone to say about why they don’t go to church. But here’s the problem: it’s because the church has made compromise on what is good and what is evil. You can go to any church and you can have them believe anything you want. You can Google — you can find churches that believe probably in polygamy. You can find a church that believes anything to be true, because the church has compromised truth.

And this is why we’ve got to keep our heart before the Lord: because we cannot be people who allow our hearts to live in deceit about what is evil and what is good. Because when we make compromise about what is evil and what is good, we look like hypocrites. So here Paul is saying, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil and cling to what is good.” I only know what is good and evil if my heart is in a posture of surrender to the Lord, so that when I pick up something that I think is fine, the Lord would say, “No, what does My Word say?” And now I can live in a way that’s still loving, but abhor what is evil and cling to what is good.

See, we’ve allowed the church to be infiltrated under this idea of black and white about all this gray. And the Lord is clear. He’s saying you can love without hypocrisy, but you need to abhor what is evil, and you need to cling to what is good.

And because we are all people who are on a journey with the Lord, the first place I will always start is with ourselves, by saying, “Would You examine my heart? What things in my mind have become so cluttered because of what I’ve watched, what I’ve allowed, what I’ve become desensitized to?” When my daughter and I were in that situation — how many times have I just been like, “Huh”? But I was deeply moved, and I felt the Lord’s heart for them. Not because I’m good, not because I’m a pastor. No, because I just said, “Lord, I want my heart to be moved for what moves Yours.” I can do that in love, and the best way I can do that in love is keeping my heart in alignment with what the Lord’s heart is. We’re to despise what is evil but cling to what is good.

When I read Scripture, it is very clear: there is no answer we need that we cannot find in here. Humanity has not changed that much. Like I said last week when I was reading through Zephaniah, humanity has not changed that much. We’re pretty much still the same; we just have more knowledge more than anything. We need the Lord to teach us and recalibrate what it looks like to love one another in a Christlike way.

I’ll keep reading. Now he’s saying — this is Paul’s instruction for us as the church to each other — “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.” He’s giving us the blueprint. “Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer.” Does that not sound like something we could apply to today? Yes.

As much as depends on you

Now, this is where it begins, and this is why we need our heart to be in a place that stays before the Lord, because this is where I sometimes struggle, if I’m going to be really honest. “Bless those who persecute you.” Bless those who persecute you. “Bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one” — everyone say “no one” — “repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. Therefore” — therefore — “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Here’s what I’m getting to: we cannot do that in our own strength. I sometimes can’t even drive in my own strength, right? Someone gets in front of me, and I’m like, “Oh, what are you —” I get all up in arms — at least I do, okay? — sometimes, and I’m stressing about things that don’t even matter. If I sometimes can’t even get on the road without having the grace of God on my life, what makes me think that I’m able to love those who persecute me, bless those who persecute me, give food to those who are my enemy, give drink to those who are — how am I intended to do that? I can’t on my own.

Because we all have different strengths. That’s part of it, right? God has gifted us all in a certain way, so we see situations in a certain way. We can both walk into a situation, someone can say the exact same thing to us, and we’ll be moved differently, in part with our own experiences, how God has created us, et cetera, et cetera, right? Jay is a lot more gracious and merciful than I am. It just is what it is. I’m not even going to try to play around. Things just roll off him; he’s just like, “Okay, whatever.” But there are other things that move him, right?

So knowing all of that, we need the Lord, and our heart to stay before Him, so that we’re not offended, so that we don’t carry this, so that we’re able to love people the way Christ has asked us to love — and that’s without our own opinion. That’s what I loved about this part: “Do not be wise in your own opinion.” I have a lot of opinions, and they’re not always wise. I say this because we’re in a time right now where people would rather be right than be in relationship with one another. I’m going to say that again: we’re in a time right now where people would rather be right than be in relationship with one another.

And we have to, as believers, keep our opinions before the Lord and say, “Okay, this is where I sit with this. Would You move me? Would You show me what really matters, so that I can rejoice with people who need to be rejoiced with, so I can weep with people, so I can bless those people who curse me?” We’ve got to keep ourselves before the Lord and our hearts open to Him — and not just open, but willing to walk out whatever He’s asked us to walk out. Because as much as it depends on you, we are to live peaceably with one another.

Not as much as it depends on Jay. I don’t think there’s an immunity pass because Jay’s more gracious. No, I’m going to have to stand before the Lord on my own as well. And as much as is at my end, as much as I can do, I need to live peaceably with other people. Which means the only way I can live peaceably with some people sometimes is keeping my heart in surrender and asking Him every day, “Would You search me? Would You show me? Would You help me?” Because I have a lot of opinions. “Oh, but I want to love people like You love them. I want to sit with someone who is weeping — would You give me the capacity to mourn with them? I want to rejoice with people. I want to stand in faith with people.” But when we’re all caught up with this other stuff, and our own stuff, and we’re just doing it the way we know to do it, we miss out on so much.

My heart for us — and I say this probably a lot, a lot, a lot — is that we would be people who trust the Lord, because He’s loving and forgiving and He freely gives, and because of that, we love and we forgive and we freely give. Would we be a people who live so open-handed with the Lord that we’d be free to love our enemies, with the confidence that He can turn around any situation? That we would be people who would move in generosity towards people so much that it would awaken them to the call that the Lord is calling to them? Would we be people who would walk in so much generosity — and I don’t just mean financial generosity: generosity with our time, generosity with our attention, generosity with our prayers?

That we would just be people who would move in grace and generosity and mercy to one another, because we know God is faithful and He’ll take care of what He needs to take care of. His heart isn’t actually that He wants to cast judgment on everybody. His heart is that none would perish — that every person would come to know Him, that every person would come to know His hope, that every person would come to know His grace, that every person would come to know His salvation. That’s His heart. Would we be people who would be so moved by that generosity that He gives towards us that we would extend it to other people?

So my challenge to you today is: would you just say, “Lord, would You search my heart? Would You teach me to do Your will, so that I can live at peace with people, so I can be a peacemaker?” Do we have an amen? Amen.

Let me pray, and then I have a benediction for us at the end. Heavenly Father, we thank You for Your goodness and Your mercy. Lord, I pray that whatever it is this week, as we go from the message, Lord, that You would bring to remembrance this week the things that need our attention — whether it’s just to live generously towards people, so much so that Your grace and Your love would be awakened in them, that Your beckoning would be awakened in them; if it is that we would just lay our anxieties at Your feet, and that You would show us, through those places that we’re walking through, how we need to surrender to You. Lord, that You would search us, and that we would even know that maybe we’ve been doing it the way You’ve asked us, that we are hearing Your voice. Whatever it is, Lord, I pray that we would just respond to Your Spirit, that we would walk boldly knowing that You’re speaking, that we would walk boldly and courageously in obedience, Lord, and that You would have Your way in us and have Your way in this church. We thank You for all these things, in Jesus’ name.

Here is my benediction to you: May our God, who can keep us from stumbling, have your attention. May you be aware of the exceeding joy that He brings. We serve a God who is wise, glorious, and present, who has dominion and power over the places that we surrender to Him. Would He be glorified in your life. Would we walk in the mercy and peace, and would His love be multiplied to us and to others this week. Amen and amen.

Transcribed from the message recording and lightly edited for reading.